Remember adolescence? That magical time when the dark forces of the human sex drive are fighting to escape the confines of everything your Momma taught you about being a good, polite boy? When your brain loses it’s ability to concentrate on what you tell it to? When the mere presence of a girl (whom you still consider gross and cootie-infected) makes you stammer and choke almost to the point of passing out?
I remember being oily and sweaty all the time. By the end of every day, I looked like I had spent several hours rubbing Bojangles chicken all over my face. Then my head suddenly began to grow like it was in a race competing against the rest of my body. My feet were determined to catch up with my head, but never quite made it.
But, the most profound change an adolescent boy goes through is that he becomes obsessed with one solitary thing: the female form. Now, understand that this is completely against his will. He still wants to spend his imaginative energies on wondering who would prevail in a battle between Spiderman and Batman. Yet, somehow his thoughts are constantly being hijacked by this oily, sweaty monster growing within him. For most men, the story of how the “mystery” was solved for them is either very tragic, or very funny. I’m still not exactly sure which category mine belongs in…
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