This will be an uncharacteristically introspective post today.
I put my two weeks notice in at my job yesterday at noon. On June 17th, I’ll be set in as the new pastor at Kernersville Community Church (that’s in Kernersville, NC for those of you that haven’t had your coffee yet).
About a year and a half ago, I was offered it and Heather and I ended up turning it down. The time wasn’t right for us, our home church or KCC. I was surprised by how depressed I felt after that phone call! I felt like I had just cut off my own arm!
:: I haven’t mentioned this here before because there are a couple people from my work that read this blog, and I wasn’t too keen on the idea of being replaced too early…
You see, I’ve dreamed of being a pastor since I was a small boy. Despite the fact that my father was a pastor, I still wanted to do it when I grew up. When other boys were dreaming about being a Navy Seal or a garbage man, I was day dreaming about preaching. In my teens, my tune changed because girls (mainly just one) seemed more fun and I was no longer naive about how Christians can be complete jerks, especially to pastors. I never rebelled in the classic sense. My rebellion was more like a quiet sit-in. A peaceful protest by passive resistance.
God extended me the right foot of fellowship right between the eyes via a family friend, and my life got back on track right after I graduated High School. I had an amazing college experience filled with youthful zeal for God, healthy and rewarding relationships with Godly men and women, a decent education, and eventually a wife that was crazy enough to hitch her wagon to a crazy man like me. It was during this time that I felt the call of God into “full time ministry” (I dislike that term because aren’t we ALL full time? … another day another post).
Ever since the day I graduated from ASU, my life has been an arduous wrestling match with God over my calling and my destiny. So to say ‘no’ to that initial opportunity was not easy. I had some more wrestling to do.
Finally, in recent months it became clear that the time was right. KCC still had not found a new pastor (a miracle in itself, any pastor would jump at the chance to take it) and they offered it again. This time, I accepted.
With my crazy job history, it’s an odd feeling to quit the best job I’ve ever had. It’s stable. It’s pays pretty good and it pays better all the time. The people are nice and my boss thinks I’m awesome (his words). But, my professional life has been nothing but an incubator for me. It’s been both a warm refuge, and a violent influence pushing me to strengthen my wings because there’s no way to avoid the open air I’m falling into.
So quitting my job has cut off my exit. There’s no revolving door, no escape hatch. I’m working without a net.
Abject terror and exhilaration are hard to tell apart at times like this.
[tags]risk, career change, life, ministry, church, pastor, promotion, vocational ministry[/tags]
