All posts in Family Life

Tip of the Day

How to remove pen ink from your favorite flat screen lcd monitor.

This would be after your wonderful son has completed his drawing and announced to you that he is impressed with his masterpiece.  This is also after you have announced to him that his life is about to end and he will be chatting with Jesus momentarily.

Take a deep breath.  Get some ordinary isopropyl rubbing alcohol.  Put a little on a soft cloth or tissue.  Rub the artwork gently.  It comes out in seconds.  I know this from recent experience.

This has also been known to save the life of two year old boys.

PS – This is only a guess, but I doubt this works with permanent markers.  Permanent markers are devices invented by Beelzebub as gifts to little boys on their 2nd birthday.  In fact, the word “Sharpie” comes from the Greek word “sharpos” which means “eternal damnation”.  Purge the wicked things from your house (the permanent markers, not the boys).  You will thank me later.

[tags]remove ink from lcd, cleaning tips[/tags]

1385 days ago 6

Why I’m Mad at Curious George

I credit Curious George and Louis L’Amour with my love for reading. When I was a kid, Mom would take us to the public library. I was only interested in Curious George books. I would collect every one of those yellow books that I could find, bring them home, and devour each one.

I liked George because he got into trouble about as much as I did. I also loved the illustrations in the books. But, I always understood that the hero of the book was the Man in the Yellow Hat. He was the ultimate father figure. He was a safari adventurer. He was confident. He always corrected George when he did wrong, but he was also incredibly patient and understanding. He knew George was only a silly monkey and didn’t expect him to act like an adult human. He also loved George, but he loved him as a father not as a friend. He also had great fashion sense. He wore that yellow outfit before anyone else knew how cool it really was.

Recently I watched the Curious George movie. I was more excited than my kids were because I still really dig Curious George and the Man in the Yellow Hat.  Boy was I disappointed.

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1433 days ago 5

Happy Father’s Day to Me… Again.

This is also my reality.


[tags]father’s day, fathers, dress up, daughters, funny[/tags]

1437 days ago 0

Happy Father’s Day to Me

This is my reality.


[tags]father’s day, funny, youtube, video[/tags]

1438 days ago 0

Pet Peeve #25 – Grocery Store Math

First, let me say from the start that this post is completely biased.  Math and I have been enemies since 3rd grade.  3rd grade is when I discovered the fleeting joys of cheating.  It was in 4th grade that I discovered the lasting pain to my rear when my parents discovered that their young son had become an expert cheater.  I had been getting A’s on my math tests, yet I knew NO MATH WHATSOEVER.  I thought it was a pretty good deal that I could get good grades and not know anything.  My parents didn’t share my sense of good fortune.

So all the way through long division, fractions (and multiplying fractions), pre-algebra, algebra, word problems, physics, chemistry, and quantum physics I longed for the day when I would take my last math class.  Then the day came as a sophomore in college.  I believe the last word problem I did involved calculating the angle of a truck bed in relation to a pile of cow manure.  I had to calculate how much force it would take to move x pounds of dung up the inclined truck bed.  My math professor was a redneck who wore overalls to class.  I passed the class (I understand dung).  I thought that, after many battles, I had finally won the war.  Math was dead, and I stood victorious.  I could now spend the rest of my life wallowing in the glorious subjective goo of all that it is to be an English major.  I recently found some of my old papers from my senior lit classes.  One of the comments on the paper was something like, “Ben, your writing style is excellent.  You communicate your thoughts well and the paper is engaging to read.  However, you don’t seem to have a good grasp of the novel and do not cover any of the themes of the book with any detail.  Did you even read the book?”  You know what grade I got on that paper?  I got an A.  That’s what I mean by “subjective goo”.

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1445 days ago 4

Why I’m Mad at Miley Cyrus

Mylie and Billy RayMy oldest daughter is INTO Hannah Montana. She has the CD. She watches the show. I’ve been cool with it all up until now. Up until now, the whole Hannah Montana thing has been innocent, possibly even helpful. She’s known for being modest, family oriented and a good role model… things all too rare these days.

So why did I just ban her in my house? Why did I just make my daughter cry because she is too innocent to understand?

This week, Miley Cyrus posed for some pictures for Vanity Fair. The pictures were edgier (and sexier) than anything she has done up to this point. In one of these pictures she was topless, covered in the front by a white bed sheet (not pictured here… trying to keep the pervs off my site). Certainly not anything more immodest than what we all see every day at the magazine stand. But for a 15 year old girl that has been billing herself as a modest, God-fearing role model to my 6 year old daughter, I have to raise a a very loud and very angry objection.

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1483 days ago /  Tagged: , 32

Pet Peeve #28 – Checkout Lines

Do you ever go grocery shopping with your spouse? I try to avoid it at almost any cost. However, on rare occasions I am hoodwinked and bamboozled into walking around Food Lion with my wife and my 3 housebroken and tamed children. Owen is friendly and waves at everyone. That is, until a display comes within reach. Then he attempts to destroy and/or climb the displays like King Kong in NYC.

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1515 days ago 6
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