Live.Awake

Humble Confidence and the Bottomless Pit

// September 20th, 2009 // Christian Living

A pastor’s life is a trip from extreme to extreme, from glowing praise to vitriolic criticism with very little in between.  I thought I didn’t care what people thought of me.  If God is for me, right?

Come to find out, I do care what people think.  I want people to like me, I like how it makes me feel.

Nobody sets out to care more about what people think than what God thinks.  Nobody wakes up one morning and says, “Hey, I think I’ll let other people define me today.”  Yet, one of the most difficult things to avoid in life is the gaping pitfall of living for the approval of others instead of the approval of Jesus.  It’s deeply satisfying to be appreciated.  It’s also deeply painful being misunderstood.  It touches a need in all of us to be known.  Not only to be known, but to be known and approved of.

The problem is, this need is bottomless.  Fathomless.  You can plumb the depths of it all your life and still never feel as though you’ve been filled.  You can please everyone, perform impeccably, never let anyone down, yet still you will feel the need to gather just one more enamored fan to yourself.

Recently I’ve lost some fans.  In the process of trying to please God, I displeased others.  Amazingly enough, I’ve survived it.

This need in all of us is a bottomless pit that only Jesus can fill.  Only your Creator can tell you what you’re worth.  No one else gets to vote.  Not you.  Not anyone.  The One that made you, determined your shape and your future, also determines your value.  Your value is dependent on Him, not on you.

I think once we see this, once we learn to love Him and fear Him , we can begin to live freely.  Only then can we cut away the shackles of futile attempts to fill the bottomless pit.

We can take risks without fearing the mess it always makes.

We can speak without fearing the inevitable pain of being misunderstood.

We can commit to change without fearing the blowback.

We can be both humble and confident at the same time.