If I’m a Prick, Do I Not Bleed?
// February 18th, 2009 // Christian Living, Church Life
If you get up in front of people and talk long enough you are going to say something stupid. This is why they invented PR handlers and speech writers. I don’t have a PR handler or a speech writer so I occasionally put my size 10 1/2 in mouth. Like the time I was trying to recruit Sunday School volunteers by convincing them that the job was easy. I did so by saying, “It’s so easy, even a person who is blind in one eye could do it.” It get’s better… our Sunday School coordinator is, as I soon learned, blind in one eye. It was like the “It’s so easy a caveman can do it” commercials only not at all funny. Thankfully, she has a great sense of humor. Otherwise, I’d be making fries at McDonalds right now. (no offense to the fine staff at McDonalds)
A couple weeks ago I had a similar thing happen. I preached a message entitled, “How Not to be a Self-Righteous Religious Prick”. Now, I have used the word prick for years. I thought it meant “jerk”. That’s all I thought it meant. My wife thought the same. I began the message by stating that this was the best sermon title ever. Then, at various moments throughout, I made the congregation repeat the phrase “I am not a self-righteous religious prick” in unison like the Pentacostal call and answer of “God is good… ALL THE TIME!”
I noticed a lack of enthusiasm in about half the room, but paid it no mind at the time.
The lack of enthusiasm was thoroughly explained to me later. Apparently, there is another meaning to the word “prick”. It has to do with a particular part of the anatomy that is unique only to males. It’s also commonly used as a nickname to shorten the name “Richard”, as in “Dick Van Dyke” or “Dick Nixon” or “Dick Dickerson”. Everyone over the age of about 35 was gasping in horror on the inside every time (and there were LOTS of times) that I said the words “self-righteous religious prick”. I had stumbled over a word that is in the process of changing it’s meaning. Some people had no idea it was a vulgar word. Others had no idea that it was anything other than vulgar.
Thankfully, KCC is awesome and they know me well enough to give me the benefit of the doubt and all is well. But, it brings up an interesting point. The cumulative effect of both of these public “blunders” (among others) is that I get knocked off the pedestal. The celebrity culture in America bleeds into the Church. We tend to mythologize our leaders until they become little gods that don’t have sweaty armpits, insecurities, or bad gas after eating Mexican food. Seriously, next time you see Joel Osteen or Rick Warren just imagine them after eating a California Burrito with extra cheese sauce. The myth will be shattered, I promise.
Any leader of any kind that is worried about maintaining the myth of perfection will constantly edit themselves and hesitate when the ball lands in their lap. You stop being yourself. The people around you need YOU to be YOU, not some edited down version of yourself.
I want to give you permission to take risks, and sometimes completely blow it and make a complete prick of yourself. In the end, everyone is better off.
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This is about the funniest thing I have EVER heard, Ben! I love it! I'm glad that your congregation understands, and I'm glad you were able to laugh at yourself.
This is great!! Thanks for sharing! A good reminder to all of us.
Thanks for stopping by!
What else can I do but laugh?
this proves the saying to allways be yourself.
So very true, Jesse.
So very true, Jesse.
I definitely understand the foible of using a word you think means one thing and everyone else in the room thinks means something else (bad). Though, I must say, I haven't gotten up in front of a church group and used the word prick. :) Priceless!
Being originally from California and living in several northern states, and then serving in a church in the deep south for 6 years, I learned a couple of things…
1. Don't use the word "turd" in the South. It means the same thing everywhere, but in California it's not considered obscene. Apparently, in east Texas, it is.
2. Don't use the phrase "Shut up" to anyone in the deep South. I almost got decked by a youth pastor for saying this to him. (To me, "shut up" was almost the equivalent of "I love you.")
I think we forget sometimes how much our local/regional culture affects what we consider to be offensive.
You misspelled pedestal, dillweed
That's because I'm hooked on phonics, dillweed.
Too funny, Ben! As long as you never forget there can be misunderstandings when you use the word "minstrel", you'll do better than your big brother! He will never, ever live that down! :) I truly expect to have a belly laugh with Jesus about that one in heaven!
OMGoodness! You mean, you're not perfect? Life is meaningless now. I'm going to crawl into the fetal position and cry all day.
No, really, I admire people who are "real," Even if they step in 'turd' every now and then. It makes me trust them more.
Well, if stepping into a turd makes you trust people more, then I'm the most trustworthy person you know!
Just had to laugh heartily. Found you via a comment on ChurchCrunch and am so glad I did.
I am a Moms Bible study teacher at @sandalschurch in Riverside, CA and say ridiculous things all the time, usually in an effort for a cheap laugh. Crickets-churping after lame joke moments….the whole thing.
Thanks for sharing your tale. It gives us all hope. As my husband says, "if God can speak to his prophets via an ass, there's hope for all of us"
I'm always up for a cheap laugh!
One time I heard a pastor preaching about God restricting our visions to teach us needed lessons and then he fatally used the following dam analogy:
"So when God blocks our vision it's like a dam blocking a river. The river builds up and waits to be released. Some people try and rebuke the dam thinking it's of the devil but I'm here to tell you that NO! It's not of the devil – it's of God. It's a big God dam!"
Then his eyes got reeeeally wide and a mixture of laughter and horror crossed his face. Fortunately it was a very laid back church and everyone burst into laughter. This gaffes keep life interesting!
What? The sunday school coordinator is blind in one eye, wow I had no idea…………………….ooh I see, thats why she married me!
this was exactly what i needed! a good laugh after a looong week and thank you especially to los esposo… that made me laugh even harder! i was wondering why my sis married you, it all comes together!
btw ben, im wayyy under 35 and i sorda gasped inside when i heard it but no harm done! besides, it was an awesome sermon!
Funny update… we had a couple visit last week, in part, due to listening to that very sermon. Go figure.
I suppose that further strengthens the point that vulgur words and cuss words are 100% cultural, and depend upon the individual's subjective internal interpretation. The logical outcome of that is either paralysis or not taking things too seriously! I vote for the latter. And I don't think that's because I'm a prick.
Yeah, I remember as a teenager, our youth director explained to us about cuss words being cultural — the end result being watch your heart — you can be cursing when you say "Darn"….
[...] going to blow it. Get used to it. Whether it’s the classic “foot-in-mouth” disease, or some other poorly executed idea that was a bad idea to begin with, you are going to do the [...]
This was hilarious. Brought tears to my eyes. Thanks, Ben. Thanks for being so transparent. You have no idea how easy it is to respect you.
Ben. Wow, Jason and I were just talking about this this morning. The most endearing thing about pastors is when we are reminded that they are the same as us! Servants of God, totally dependent on his mercies everyday! By the way, we were ROTF, LOBO. :)
Haha. You are kidding me. I mean like, I was homeschooled and I knew what it meant. Hahah. This is way, way too funny. Ben, God did a Funny thing when He made you a pastor! I liked what you said about transparency, though. Isn’t it marvelous yo be youself?
Blessings. What a great website.
Amy