The Pastor’s Ass
// October 9th, 2008 // Christian Living, Humor
First, let me say that this is the greatest title to any post ever done on this blog…
I got this as an email from Heather today and it cracked me up. DISCLAIMER: I am in no way promoting email forwards. I do not endorse, promote, or encourage forwarding vapid Christianese emails to everyone in your address book. Doing that is evil. Stop it. Do not take this as an invitation to forward me special prayers that will release the blessing of Jabez, angels carrying potpourri, burned toast that looks like Jesus, etc.
NOTE: There is no disclaimer about the use of the words “ass”. It’s a donkey. Calm down.
The pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won. The pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the race again, and it won again.
The local paper read:
PASTOR’S ASS OUT FRONT.
The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the pastor not to enter the donkey in another race.
The next day, the local paper headline read:
BISHOP SCRATCHES PASTOR’S ASS.
This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the pastor to get rid of the donkey. The pastor decided to give it to a nun in a nearby convent.
The local paper, hearing of the news, posted the following headline the next day:
NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN.
The bishop fainted. He informed the nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey, so she sold it to a farmer for $10.
The next day the paper read:
NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10.
This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the nun to buy back the donkey and lead it to the plains where it could run wild.
The next day the headlines read:
NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE.
The bishop was buried the next day.
…Boy, it’s a good thing I don’t have an ass. ;-)
So, what do you think is the moral of the story?
Moral of the story:
If you try to please everyone, you’ll lose your ass.
Are you trying to be a SHOCK JOCK?!
The city laws says roaming donkeys are illegal. The spirit of the fallen bishop appears to the nun and demands that the donkey be caught to prevent public disgrace.
The Nun agrees and searches for the donkey. As a last resort, she informs the local authorities about a missing donkey.
The police catch the donkey, but in the time elapsed the donkey had become aggressive.
They track down the nun. They decide to quarantine the donkey, much to her dismay.
The next day the headlines read: “POLICE DECIDE TO GUARD NUN FROM KICKING ASS .”
The Bishop turned in his grave.
A crass ass story if I ever heard one.