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	<title>Comments on: Real Family Confessions</title>
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	<link>http://www.bencotten.net/2007/10/16/real-family-confessions/</link>
	<description>living life with eyes wide open</description>
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		<title>By: ded</title>
		<link>http://www.bencotten.net/2007/10/16/real-family-confessions/comment-page-1/#comment-650</link>
		<dc:creator>ded</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sun, 21 Oct 2007 21:29:17 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.bencotten.net/2007/10/16/real-family-confessions/#comment-650</guid>
		<description>I started my blog Friday.  I think I finally felt guilty about being long-winded on other people&#039;s blogs.

spiritinthewildwood.blogspot.com</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>I started my blog Friday.  I think I finally felt guilty about being long-winded on other people&#8217;s blogs.</p>
<p>spiritinthewildwood.blogspot.com</p>
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		<title>By: Sarah @ Real Life</title>
		<link>http://www.bencotten.net/2007/10/16/real-family-confessions/comment-page-1/#comment-617</link>
		<dc:creator>Sarah @ Real Life</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Wed, 17 Oct 2007 17:43:58 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.bencotten.net/2007/10/16/real-family-confessions/#comment-617</guid>
		<description>&quot;What kids are looking for is not for their parents to be â€œcoolâ€ or to be their friend. Kids are looking for parents. Parents who set boundaries. Parents who are not hypocritical. Parents who live a life worth following.&quot;

This is so true, Heather. I used to sneak out of the house as a teen until I realized that my dad didn&#039;t really care.  Then I would just tell him I was leaving after my mom went to sleep.  Some of the things that happened those nights shouldn&#039;t have.  He didn&#039;t stop me, and I wish he had.</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>&#8220;What kids are looking for is not for their parents to be â€œcoolâ€ or to be their friend. Kids are looking for parents. Parents who set boundaries. Parents who are not hypocritical. Parents who live a life worth following.&#8221;</p>
<p>This is so true, Heather. I used to sneak out of the house as a teen until I realized that my dad didn&#8217;t really care.  Then I would just tell him I was leaving after my mom went to sleep.  Some of the things that happened those nights shouldn&#8217;t have.  He didn&#8217;t stop me, and I wish he had.</p>
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		<title>By: Ben Cotten</title>
		<link>http://www.bencotten.net/2007/10/16/real-family-confessions/comment-page-1/#comment-615</link>
		<dc:creator>Ben Cotten</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Wed, 17 Oct 2007 13:49:09 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.bencotten.net/2007/10/16/real-family-confessions/#comment-615</guid>
		<description>Great comment, ded.  I wonder if the things that are wrong in many of our families are the same things that are wrong in many of our churches?

BTW, when are you going to start blogging?  I&#039;d read you.  ;-)</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Great comment, ded.  I wonder if the things that are wrong in many of our families are the same things that are wrong in many of our churches?</p>
<p>BTW, when are you going to start blogging?  I&#8217;d read you.  ;-)</p>
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		<title>By: ded</title>
		<link>http://www.bencotten.net/2007/10/16/real-family-confessions/comment-page-1/#comment-614</link>
		<dc:creator>ded</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Wed, 17 Oct 2007 10:30:23 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.bencotten.net/2007/10/16/real-family-confessions/#comment-614</guid>
		<description>If identifying the lack of authenticity as the major source of a young person&#039;s lack of trust in a parent is accurate, the fix seems fairly easy.  Parents need to develop authenticity.  That doesn&#039;t mean they need to do more spiritual exercise: more sermons, more devotionals, more terms of service in the church nursery.  Folks, not just parents, need the latitude and support to be fully honest about their fallen natures, which often are very much alive and living under a veneer of Christianese and self-promoting good works. (One of the reasons a &quot;man of God&quot; is actually a rapist at heart.) When we are honest about our true natural state in an atmosphere without condemnation, we are opened to learn the ways of Christ in our  heart.  The bare knuckles reality emerges for the individual to admit, &quot;I sin because I do not love God. I am unauthentic because I am trying to hide that truth.&quot;  There are no excuses, scapegoats, or justifications for our fallenness. We willfully love ourselves instead of Him.  

When we confront and accept how little we actually love God, then determine we want to be the new creature who does, the true journey of spiritual growth begins in the inner-person. An authentic experience of the Holy Spirit develops and springing from this vital relationship with the in-dwelling Presence of Jesus, spiritual authority to guide the development of our childrens&#039; hearts and minds follows.</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>If identifying the lack of authenticity as the major source of a young person&#8217;s lack of trust in a parent is accurate, the fix seems fairly easy.  Parents need to develop authenticity.  That doesn&#8217;t mean they need to do more spiritual exercise: more sermons, more devotionals, more terms of service in the church nursery.  Folks, not just parents, need the latitude and support to be fully honest about their fallen natures, which often are very much alive and living under a veneer of Christianese and self-promoting good works. (One of the reasons a &#8220;man of God&#8221; is actually a rapist at heart.) When we are honest about our true natural state in an atmosphere without condemnation, we are opened to learn the ways of Christ in our  heart.  The bare knuckles reality emerges for the individual to admit, &#8220;I sin because I do not love God. I am unauthentic because I am trying to hide that truth.&#8221;  There are no excuses, scapegoats, or justifications for our fallenness. We willfully love ourselves instead of Him.  </p>
<p>When we confront and accept how little we actually love God, then determine we want to be the new creature who does, the true journey of spiritual growth begins in the inner-person. An authentic experience of the Holy Spirit develops and springing from this vital relationship with the in-dwelling Presence of Jesus, spiritual authority to guide the development of our childrens&#8217; hearts and minds follows.</p>
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		<title>By: Nathan Rice</title>
		<link>http://www.bencotten.net/2007/10/16/real-family-confessions/comment-page-1/#comment-613</link>
		<dc:creator>Nathan Rice</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Tue, 16 Oct 2007 14:27:55 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.bencotten.net/2007/10/16/real-family-confessions/#comment-613</guid>
		<description>Heather,
We&#039;ve been amazed here at the church at some of the confessions as well.  And yes, there is definitely a pretty apparent theme among the kids.

Unfortunately, the parents are holding back ... oddly enough, that&#039;s what the kids despise the most about their parents ... not being authentic.

It just goes to show us how necessary the upcoming parenting series is. :-)</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Heather,<br />
We&#8217;ve been amazed here at the church at some of the confessions as well.  And yes, there is definitely a pretty apparent theme among the kids.</p>
<p>Unfortunately, the parents are holding back &#8230; oddly enough, that&#8217;s what the kids despise the most about their parents &#8230; not being authentic.</p>
<p>It just goes to show us how necessary the upcoming parenting series is. :-)</p>
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