Live.Awake

Real Family Confessions

// October 16th, 2007 // Family Life

I was reading Nathan’s blog the other day and came across this site. It is a site where kids or parents can make anonymous confessions. Of course, there are some statements on here that are to be expected, but there are also some statements on here that really make you think.

“I was raped by a “man of God” I cant tell you that bc you let me go on a date with him. You let me date someone 8 years older than me. I still hurt!”

Wow. To know that there are people out there with these secrets and worse that they don’t feel free to share with their parents…and their parents put them in the situations that caused them pain. It reveals how important it is for parents to pay attention and to seek God for His will for kids. It’s crucial for us to take note of what is happening in our kids lives. God is faithful and can show us what is happening with our kids even when they don’t tell us everything.

The kids’ confessions are really much more honest than most of the parents I read. There are some parents that confess things and you can see that you are only seeing the tip of the iceberg. The areas of our lives that we keep secret are the very things that will effect our children. One woman said:

“I got married because I was pregnant. I wonder if our child will be able to tell that I don’t love my husband. “

One of the most common statements on this site made by the kids is that they wish that their parents would be real and would live the lives that they expect their kids to live. What kids are looking for is not for their parents to be “cool” or to be their friend. Kids are looking for parents. Parents who set boundaries. Parents who are not hypocritical. Parents who live a life worth following. Parents who are seeking God for their kids. Parents who are honest about their lives. Parents who are willing to listen when their kids are facing things that they never wanted them to face.

We have an awesome responsibility as parents to shape and mold these lives that God has entrusted us with. A part of that responsibility is that our children will face things that we wish so badly we could shelter them from. The task of guiding them through trials and temptations that shape their lives is only possible if we look to God for the answers, for the guidance we need as parents. It isn’t possible for us to keep them from the storms of life and the trials that this life brings, but we can be there to pray them through, to guide them through and to be there when they have to do it on their own. My prayer as a parent is that I will never get too busy to pay attention to what is happening with my kids. That I will never get so distracted by the storms and trials of my life that I don’t pay heed to my children’s lives. Even when they are young, they are being shaped into the people they are going to become. The things that they face every day as small as they seem to us are shaping factors in their lives.

Have faith that God can and will speak into your relationship with your children. Have faith that despite mistakes you have made that God is faithful to provide what your kids need, to give them what they need even if that means tough times. God is faithful and knows each of us before we were even born. We will never figure it all out and we don’t have to. God has taken care of all of that. Just lean on Him and trust His Word.

Are there things that you wish you could have said as a child to your parents? Are there things that you wish you could say to your kids now?

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