Live.Awake

What Women Want

// October 2nd, 2007 // Family Life

Ben (my husband) and I do this blog together. For the most part Ben posts what he wants to and I post what I want. We decided it would be fun to do a marriage-related post about what women want from men and what men want from women. I will make my list today and Ben will do his tomorrow.

One thing that I do think is very important and will save you a lot of headaches and heartaches is figuring out what makes the other person tick. There is a great book called The Five Love Languages. In it, Gary Chapman explains the importance of understanding each others love languages in order to effectively communicate with one another. There is a quiz you can take to find out what your love language is. The idea is that if we understand how we naturally express love then that will give us (and our spouses) an idea of how we most meaningfully receive it. My love language is a mix, but my primary one is acts of service. I am sure this will be noticeable in my list.

So, here we go…in no particular order:

• Take the lead:Of course Christ is the head of our home, but it is always important to me that Ben be second in charge. It makes me feel protected when he takes the lead in our home. When he takes ownership and leads even if I don’t always agree (although it is also important to feel like you have a voice in things as well, so remember to talk things out).
• Quality Time: I know for me, it isn’t about sitting on the couch and watching t.v. or both of us being wrapped up in our own thing (folding laundry, playing on the computer). It is about engaging in an adult conversation whether it be about something funny, serious or about day to day stuff.
• Take out the trash! Yes, I know this may be just one of my things, but I think women shouldn’t have to touch the trash (unless husband is out of town or unable to), so guys please…take the trash out before it is overflowing. You get extra extra points if you do it without us asking.
• Don’t leave the toilet seat up…Ben is actually very good at this one (he learned from his older brother’s mistakes growing up), but the few times he has left it up, it is um…cold :)
• Do the little things: It is always so nice when Ben pitches in and does the things that are my “jobs.” Even though not all of the house stuff should fall on the women, it reflects on her when the house isn’t in order, so the weight of it is on the wife primarily. It is always nice to get help so you feel like you can get a break from time to time too.
• Show me you know me:The thing that always makes women melt and say “Ooo…That’s so sweet” is when a man takes note of what is important to a woman as an individual and makes it a point to show that he understands her. This is true about the smallest things and the biggest things.

Ok, I feel like I am leaving things out that I will remember as soon as I publish this, but I will be interested to see what on my list is just my personality and what is universal among women in general. So, add to the list. This will be fun.

P.S. I should say too that Ben is the greatest husband. I love him and so blessed that I got to marry him! Just had to get that in there :)

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