Keeping Your Balance

// September 18th, 2007 // Family Life

balanceBalance is a word we moms and wives hear a lot about. I have actually written a post somewhat similar to this one earlier, but it was lost when our site crashed. So, if this sounds redundant forgive me. I came across Momma Blogga’s site where she was talking about the same thing and linked to someone else who was also talking about the same thing. So, obviously this is something that we all think about as mothers.

I was talking with one of my friends yesterday who is having her first child soon. She was talking about all the varying degrees of advice and input she is getting from various people. The question that I know so many women face is “Do I go back to work after the baby?” This is actually a hot button topic among women. There are times that you can’t get women to disagree with you to your face (although they have no problem doing it behind your back) but this is one of those subjects that people can get pretty opinionated over. Whatever your opinion may be, there needs to be some grace given to each other as we are all different and have different life situations. For me, I work outside the home one day a week and stay home with the kids the other days. I do work from my home as well. I enjoy this balance because I get away one day a week and have adult conversations and feel a small measure of success outside of my home.

Of course, since having children I have found I measure success in a different way than I did before having children. When you become a mom, your focus shifts from trying to find balance between home, work and friends to finding balance with children, husband, friends and work. Suddenly, your world has changed and everything you do effects this little life that you have brought into the world. For a lot of women, this can be an overwhelming realization. I think that we as women begin to compare ourselves to other women and moms. We feel like a failure if we don’t measure up to what the “perfect mom” is. What we need to remember is we all are different.

We have different personalities and different ways of coping. Some people need time alone, others need people. Some need to throw themselves into being a mom because it is the one thing that they feel they can really be good at. Others find it important to have something aside from children in order to feel like they have not completely given up who they are. I think that there is a balance…yes, there is that word again. I find two things…one is that if I spend time doing daily devotionals and praying I am more filled up and happy for my children. I also find that if I have something separate from the children, I am able to better enjoy the time that I have with them.

The important thing to remember in regard to balance is that we need to set priorities and stick to them. This will ensure that we don’t let the things that are most important get lost in the shuffle of life, that we don’t get so busy staying in maintenance mode that we lose who we are. This is not only detrimental to ourselves but also to our children.

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