Lessons Learned as a 9th Grade English Teacher, Part 2
// April 19th, 2007 // Humor
Part 1 | Part 2
I left that meeting bewildered. It felt like I had just walked through a hurricane. By the time I got home that afternoon I was determined to remedy the situation. I would do whatever I had to do to show this woman that I was “better than that”. I knew that if I did what she asked, that she would change her opinion.
Mrs. Remington gave me a list of things she wanted changed. They were very specific. It was things like, “Write the date on the chalkboard.” and “Have the students say “here” when taking roll instead of you looking”.
Fair enough, I thought. I can always do better, and if I do these things she’ll back off.
The next day I came to school prepared like never before. Every single item on her long list was done and ready. I dare say I was the most prepared and focussed teacher in the building that day.
As I began class, she entered the room and quietly sat in the back of the room with a notebook and pen. My students knew what this meant for a teacher, and they silently rallied together and became perfect students. I taught my class that morning with teaching illustrations, activities, lecture, examples, everything I could think of. In the process I knocked out every item on her list. The bell rang and she left with the rest of the class without comment about my teaching or anything.
I received a note from her in my mailbox that afternoon scheduling an appointment for the next day.
I sat down in front of her desk for the appointment, and she handed me a sheet of paper. It was a new list and an evaluation form. Not only was the new list longer than the first list, her official evaluation was blistering. It contained all the same accusations of being a poor educator with no work ethic as our initial meeting just without the yelling.
I was completely dismayed. Confused, lost. This was the first time when I had done what was asked of me by those in authority over me and still got nothing but disapproval. I really didn’t know how to handle it, so I just sat there and stared at a little paperweight on her desk with a scripture on it (I wish I could remember the scripture because I’m SURE it would be tragically ironic…). I left the meeting with her like a man carrying a huge burden that he couldn’t shake. It was awful.
This pattern repeated several times over the next few weeks. Evaluation – List – I Fix List – Evaluation – New List – I Fix New List – and on and on. Never did she say anything positive on or off the record about how I was teaching. I know now that she was building a file against me. I didn’t know that I could contest each evaluation. I didn’t know that she was not supposed to evaluate me until a peer teacher had done so twice. I didn’t know that I could have a dept head evaluate my class to validate/invalidate her evaluation. No one told me, and I didn’t ask. Hindsight is 20/20 right?
The amazing thing is that I kept thinking it would get better. It never did.
The whole thing culminated in her giving me what was called an “Action Plan”. It was really just another list, with one difference. This list was very NON-specific and general. Things like, “Satisfactorily demonstrate a varied teaching style.” The other difference was that if I failed to fullfill all points of the plan, I would be immediately fired and the plan (and all the other “lists”) would be attached to my permanent record.
I would probably never work again in a school (and if any other future employer called, this would come up as well). And guess who had the final decision on whether or not the plan was met? Good ole’ Mrs. R. I knew what that meant. I knew that no matter what I did concerning the Action Plan, I’d be fired.
The principal gave me an “offer I couldn’t refuse”. He told me that I could proceed with the Action Plan and accept whatever fate it resulted in, or I could quit now and he would purge my record and give a good recommendation. I chose the latter. I finished exams with my students and left.
For a while I considered teaching again, but frankly I was just completely burned out on it. A lot of people told me to “get back up on the horse” and continue teaching. For me, there was no way in God’s green earth I was going to go back to teaching. I just wanted a normal “Dilbert” job, and that’s just what I did.
Incedentally, I have since come across 2 other teachers in the English Dept. there that had a very similar experience with the same woman and subsequently quit never to teach again. Both were amazing teachers and a great loss to that school system.
I know now that this experience was really just God allowing me to discover that I was living my life for the approval of others. Mrs. Remington, though wrong, was really just a tool in His hand. I had to find out that ultimately my sense of approval must come from God alone.
Anyone else have a crazy job experience similar to mine? I’d love to hear about it in the comments.
[tags]teaching, education, new teacher, secondary, ed, high school, school system, 9th grade, English, Grammar, Literature, Educator[/tags]