Archive for December, 2006

New Phil Keaggy Tunes

Jammed! album cover artAs promised, I’ve added some more Phil Keaggy tunes (player at the top of the page). These are some songs from a recent album he released called “Jammed!”. It’s a collection of live (in studio) jams with various musicians. In all of the tunes, Phil is playing electric guitar (if you want to know, I can tell you what guitars/amps he plays on each track from what he writes in the liner notes).

This is some of the best of Phil Keaggy’s electric guitar work I’ve heard in a while, so enjoy and let me know what you think!

Giveaway of the Day

DownloadThis is a great website. They offer time-sensitive [tag]free giveaway[/tag]‘s of pay-software. The offers are only good for one day, so you have to keep up with it. That is the only catch. This is [tag]free software[/tag] that normally you would have to purchase. I’ve been keeping an eye on it for a while and haven’t seen any duds at all.

Since the [tag]downloads[/tag] are only [tag]free[/tag] for one day, I suggest that you go ahead and download it if it looks good even if you don’t need it right away. You can always delete it from your hard drive later.

I’m embedding a preview similar to the one below (but with more info) on the links page so that you can check back often.

Giveaway of the Day

Tips for Looking Busy

sleeping at workIt’s the week between Christmas and New Years. Many of us are not lucky enough to have accrued 12 years of vacation time, so we have to work these few days while our coworkers sleep in and watch “Sponge Bob” reruns all day in their boxer shorts. We’re missing out on that great and terrible feeling when you notice the clock for the first time at 3pm. That moment when you say to yourself, “You’re such a slacker. You have been on this couch for 6 hours. As soon as I take a nap, I’m going to get up, shake the cobwebs out and move to the recliner.”

I’ve worked in several places in my life ranging from blue collar to white collar and it’s all the same in this regard. Being at work during this week is like waiting for your wife to decide which blue shirt looks less “clunky in the middle” while you sit in the “man-waiting-for-wife” chair at the department store. You know the one. That chair that sits right outside the ladies changing room. In my entire life I have NEVER seen a woman sitting in that chair. If you don’t believe me, look closer and you will see carved into the wooden arm of that chair small hash marks counting the days similar to what you would find in “the hole” at Alcatraz.

Out of the several hundred employees at my company, I’d say there are about 10 of them at work this week. One of them is me. None of us have anything to do. I’ve cleaned my office 4 times. My inbox is empty (and dusted). My boss is here, but he says, “there’s no point in starting anything today. Just use this week to get caught up. That’s what I’m doing.” Apparently his idea of “getting caught up” is honing his Quake III gaming skills on the company network because that’s all I’ve seen him do all day.

Over the years, I’ve come up with several survival techniques for this perilous week. Here they are in no particular order:

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Why Santa Won’t be Coming to my House… Ever.

Santa DiedPeople are always asking my kids, “What’s Santa bringing you this year?”.  They never know what to say to the poor naive adults that (from their perspective) still haven’t discovered that Santa is a made-up idea.  I’m tired of the awkwardness, so here it is once and for all.

1. He isn’t Real.

If a rosy-cheeked fat man in a red suit breaks into my house on Christmas Eve looking for my children he’ll get a baseball bat between the eyes. When he comes to, he will find that he’s been blindfolded and hog-tied on the floor while my kids play “Pin the Steak Knife on Santa’s Tail”.

2. Santa is a Freeloader

I paid for those presents. My wife and I both work. We work hard and we love our children. Every Christmas we buy them gifts because we love to demonstrate our love for our kids at every opportunity. And Mr. Clause wants to swoop in at the last minute and take credit? I DON’T THINK SO!

I assure you, that on Christmas morning when my daughter opens up her new EasyBake oven it will be Mommy and Daddy who get the hugs and thank-you’s not some chubby bearded fellow hiding in the chimney.

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chemical barrel

Part VI – The Glue Factory Chronicles

The Exciting Conclusion!

Part I | Part II | Part III | Part IV | Part V | Part VI
For the next few days, I made it a point to display my wedding ring in a awkwardly obvious way in front of JT. I avoided all eye contact. I talked about the kids at home and my happy family. None of it seemed to slow her down at all. My salvation came when a new employee was hired. He looked like he could have been JT’s twin. Same haircut and everything. It was love at first sight. After that, she paid me no attention whatsoever.

JT wasn’t the only colorful character that I worked with. There was also a fellow named Jeremiah. His daddy was a Baptist preacher. But when Jeremiah said “baptist preacher”, somehow it sounded like a curse word. He had a lot against baptist preachers. And English teachers. And anyone from Mexico. And people from the North. And rich people (he wasn’t too fond of poor people either). Politicians, the elderly, teenagers, lawyers, doctors, news reporters and anyone who worked behind a desk were on his bad side too. All of this he told me in the first 10 minutes of meeting him.

Jeremiah was about 5ft 2in tall. He had long curly hair down to his shoulders. He had a scar on his left cheek with a matching scar on the right. (Once he pointed to the scar and said, “This is where I got shot for the first time. Right through the mouth. I took care of him, though.) He had a lazy eye that never rested. It wandered around as he talked, as though it had it’s own will. Jeremiah is what I like to call a prepneck (preppy + redneck). He wore pressed Levi’s that were too tight, button-up shirts, and Timberland boots. He had rings on both hands and two gold chains around his neck. His shirt was always unbuttoned just enough to show them off. He always smelled like Stetson cologne and he drove a 1980′s TransAm. White/bondo with red interior. A black garter belt hung from the rear-view mirror.

Jeremiah and I were filtering glue together. (it’s a real bonding experience) Jeremiah enjoyed talking a lot. He especially enjoyed it when the person he was talking to didn’t interrupt with annoying attempts at a two-way conversation.

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Celebrity Worship Gone Too Far?

Anybody want to know what’s up [tag]Paris Hilton’s nose[/tag]? Anybody? No takers? Well, apparently it’s a question on a lot of people’s minds. This picture is all over the place. I personally saw it featured twice tonight on tv. The speculation is amazing…
it's either cocain or itsnot... Is [tag]Paris Hilton[/tag] snorting cocaine? What’s that in her nose? Is it a reflection? Does she have a cold? Is she smuggling diamonds? What IS that in her nose? Her publicist actually got calls (and [tag]Entertainment Tonight [/tag]admitted to calling to “verify the facts”).

[tag]Pop culture[/tag] has reached an all time low. We are on the bottom side of the bottom. We’re slumming for celebrity gossip so desperately that there are interns right now being paid to call Paris Hilton’s publicist to ask, “Yes, I’m calling from the office of [tag]People Magazine[/tag]. Could you verify for us exactly what is up Paris’ nose at this time?” I imagine tomorrow we will see Giraldo Rivera doing a live unearthing of the mysteries of Paris’ sinuses complete with medical doctors and 3D graphics.

‘Cmon people. I feel dirty even having that picture on my blog at all.

[tags]celebrity, celebrity gossip[/tags]

A Little Holiday Romance

Here’s a little something to get you warmed up for the holidays…

[video]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xd0_hgBHd78[/video]

[tags]Christmas, funny, humor, mistletoe, dog, pets[/tags]